They name is Snark

This morning I was awoken by the rise of the uterine monster that gnashes and gnaws and makes me anything but sunshiney happy. Woe betide anyone dare to step on my toes today, I am all bitey and snappy and I hate that I have to go out into the big bad today and actually talk to people.

But one child has football training this afternoon which means I have to go pick him up after school. I hope no one, like, talks to me, or even breathes in my general direction. (My kingdom for a hysterectomy)

Our new puppy (Cooper) has eaten the bedding so there is white fluff all over the back yard. Stupid dogs. (The older dog- Amos, taught her this nifty little trick) It is cold here at night, not just cold but if I had balls they’d be sitting inside my chest if I had to sleep outside like the dogs (and the man who is currently away and sleeping outside, I hope his balls are warm and not up under his ribs.)
I am not buying those stupid dogs a new bed.

And according to music max, my stars this morning are just so keeping in line with the theme of the day, “today someone critques you and frankly you don’t deserve it….pot, kettle anyone?”
Oh just let them try. My ovaries are dying to bitch slap someone good.

Oh ick, I better go tie up the garbage bag for the girl to take out before the garbage truck empties the bin.

Lets just call this Pirra and the no good horrible terrible very bad day.

Don’t poo poo on my apocolypse

I’m not entirely convinced about Global Warming. I just find it all seriously funky. Maybe someday, when more conclusive evidence based on actual data as opposed to “models of what might happen” comes to light, perhaps I’ll be more on the GW bandwagon.

Having said that, being ecologically friendly is something I think every body should take on board. Carbon footprints aside, I ask you, what about our serious problem as a disposable society? Where the hell are we supposed to keep putting this crap we throw away without a second thought? My biggest beef is probably disposable nappies. I loathe those things and they DO NOT break down. (Unless you fork out the bucks for eco-bots.)

I know they are convenient. I know sometimes, babies have reactions to cloth nappies. (Sometimes it’s because they are sensitive to a particular type of cloth nappy, there are more than one. My kids did not like the terri-towel style ones, but the flannel was wonderful.Sometimes it’s what we wash them in that’s the problem) But seriously, if you think about how many disposable nappies you use on one baby throughout its journey to potty training…..times that by however many babies there are out there….and just try to imagine all those nappies in a landfill somewhere….factor in that most disposable nappies DO NOT break down, they will still be there 100 years from now….what are we going to do? Make a pyramid of them and name it one of the sevens wonders of the futuristic world?

If Al Gore wants a great scaremongering campaign to prop up his fledging political career  celebrity profile (I say that loosely) then why not focus on the rise of the killer nappies? We are choking our world with plastic wrapped baby ass funk.

I find that far more frightening than the hypothesis that the earth is warming and we are all going to die. (Of course we are, December 21, 2012. So long as we all clear our schedules, we are penciled in for annihilation.)

I wonder, can preserved baby poop survive the apocalypse?